ALL CHILDREN LEARN TO SLEEP? GET READY TO FACE THE TOUGHEST NEGOTIATIONS OF ALL TIME
The baby and I have a lot in common. We manage to fall asleep immediately anywhere. But my eldest son, two years old, hasn't learned how to do that yet. Or did he forget? Whichever it is, he won’t fall asleep and doesn't sleep through the night. And this is destroying me. Do all children learn to sleep? No, an indomitable two-year-old boy will never give up.
My feelings between 6 and 9 pm regularly go from anger to defiance, from frustration to hope, and even to despair. Of course, even love. Lots of love. Really. I wish I could breastfeed the baby, so I wouldn't have to put the little pest to bed.
And he really knows everything. A tough negotiating partner. No, not partner. He’s the boss of bargaining. Partnerships really have nothing to do with it. A gangster movie would be funny in comparison.
One more story, I have to go pee pee one more time, just one more this and that
I don’t believe even one word either. They're lies. Really. And it's terrible. Mainly because of this faint hope which, you know, is the last to die, this sweet thought that sneaks into my brain and won’t give me peace: "If I read the story one last time, in five minutes I can watch my favourite TV series." Right.
Do we want to think it over? I've already tried. Useless. Young children are able to understand explain, in detail, that dad is really tired and wants to spend some time with mom and that it is now bedtime. Only 5 minutes later, just as soon as you’ve got used to the light of the living room, you hear "Daddy?... Daaaddy?..... Daaaaddddyyyy? Whaaaaaa”.
Not even phrases like "This time don't call me anymore, okay?" really work. I should know, I've already tried. I have tried... everything! And this is whyI’ve put together a list of tricks for you. The
y don't always work and I can’t swear by them, but with a little luck you will be able to carve out some time for yourself.
You must always have a minimum of three spare pacifiers. The pacifier is a miracle. No matter who says what; when placed in their mouths work miracles. When you do the shopping, always buy a new pacifier. And the Lupilu cord to attach it is a great investment. In the evening, you need at least three spare pacifiers.
I’m just going for a minute to empty the dishwasher
One of the first tricks on the list is the phrase "I'm going to empty the dishwasher," "...to vacuumthe living room" or "...to hang up the laundry." Sometimes, but only sometimes, recently however, more and more, the little bandit is already asleep when I check back 10 minutes later.
The trick, however, has one drawback: I have to do the housework and no favourite TV series.
Nursing pillows that mimic parents
Now I have no scruples, so I’ll fake the parents’ presence. Nursing pillows, t-shirt covering it (naturally worn by mom), and that’s it. Now I feel like a real parent. I put the cushion between me and the baby, I hold his hand a little ... I admit it: I fall asleep.
At some point, I manage to exit the room, drunk with sleep. And in 99.9% of cases I also step on a Lego brick. At least I wake right up. But the child too, with all the expletives that come out of my mouth.
As you see: there’s still room for improvement. Do you have any ideas? Any tricks? Experiences? I swear: I’ll pay handsomely. Write to me. But do it soon.