Dress the baby quickly? There are easier things in the world...
With the midwife the baby was calm, he let her do everything: put clothes over his head for example. And I could swear that he helped her tie the bow. In short, the dressing procedure seemed like a no-brainer. And with me? Don’t ask. My best time: 25 minutes. Let's see how it goes today. First the diaper? No, that part’s good. Let’s begin directly with the onesie.
But how do we get this delicate little head into the opening?
A little head that fits in one hand. I even feel the soft spot of his head. Amazing. The baby amazes me every day. And since this creature looks at me with so much confidence, I certainly don't want to stretch him and crush him while dressing.
The surrender of the first piece of clothing
When things go over his head he always starts squalling! Thank goodness that some manufacturers of baby clothes have thought of this. Are there onesies that don’t have to be put over the head. Thank you! I opt for this variation. I open the onesie, I put the baby in, then his arms go in the sleeves. I did it. Something is wrong. Never mind, I’ll put something on top, so it doesn't have to be perfect. And now: tights or jumpsuit?
I take the jumpsuit, no tights. The one with the words AC/DC. Somehow this inspires the little one and his legs start moving rhythmically. There, I made them disappear in the jumpsuit. Hmm, his legs are here somewhere. Anyway, he doesn’t walk yet. This is the moment when his mother arrives. She walks by and puts some socks on the changing table.
Got it. Here’s the trick. Socks over the jumpsuit to hold it.
So why don’t babies wear socks wherever they go? Granted: it’s the moment that matters. I take the socks.
Something else? Sweater? Better not, it goes over the head.
The wool sweater should be OK. But there is something wrong with the zip. Turn the sweater... yes there’s an up and down. It closes from top to bottom. It’s a test, right? His mother comes back and praises the sweater: finally, someone has noticed that the zip bothers the baby’s neck. Ah!
As she leaves I hear her say, “Change him before going out, otherwise he’ll start crying in the car”. The same procedure again? The baby and I look at each other and we come to an agreement. It's fine like this. In the car: the baby sounds the alarm. And I can smell it. He needs a clean diaper. Now.
Oh, no! I forgot the diaper bag. What a bummer.
Quick stop at Lidl: diapers, baby wipes for all kinds of uses and even a few jars of baby food.
And then it’s the undressing procedure, change, dress in the car. Half an hour later, sweating and suffering from dramatic back pain, I promise myself that next time I'll change the baby first.